Dating, Romance and… Coffee?

By Sanuri Perera

From the bus stop love letters to coffee-house romance, I think we’ve progressed in this world. I remember my parents talking to me about the good ol’ days where you’d meet a pretty girl at the bus stop and how you’d try to puck up the courage to ask her out or pass her a note every day or so. So romantic. The waiting… the contemplating… the chemistry that builds up. The beautiful thing is that with time romance still exists.

Coffee plays such a vital role in our lives yet we don’t see it until we look back at how much it has affected us. It’s like in Mitch Albom’s book ‘The Five People You Meet in Heaven’, you never know who you are affecting and who affects you until you look back at your whole life as if it were a movie. A moment I would never forget that changed my life forever was that one single line I casually IMd one of my friends, ‘let’s go get coffee sometime’. I am one of those go-getter girls so asking a guy out for coffee wasn’t the biggest deal, but I did feel my heart in my throat so it obviously wasn’t ‘just a friend’, it was a someone I sort of liked. I literally walked away from the computer after typing the words. After a few minutes I saw the infamous orange flicker on my tool-bar which meant he had replied. I stared at it for a while, dreading the answer on the other side. Of course he was very straight forward and asked me if it was as friends or a ‘date’. At this moment, this very significant but at the time meaningless moment I thought to myself. Do I say friends? And then hope it develops into something.. but since I have read most articles that say guys make up their mind to date you in the first 5 seconds (which is not 100% true because nothing can be generalized now a days), they meet you I thought ‘what the heck.. I’ll go for it. What’s the worst that could happen’. Well… I said ‘yes’ very very casually as possible, and then he said he would prefer friends and I felt silly and I was like ‘all is well’ yadi-yada and we did go for coffee and we watched our ‘first’ movie together.


So why is it that we pick coffee houses and cafes to frequent when it comes to dating and romancing someone? I suppose it could be that it gives off a casual vibe since it is a first date and all that. You don’t want to give the wrong impression to the guy or the girl so agreeing to meet someone over a cup of coffee sounds less formal and intimidating. Another reason would probably be because it’s far more inexpensive than taking someone to a high-end restaurant. A first date shouldn’t have to cause a dent in the wallet and it’s all about getting to know each other. Why do that over a full throttle meal at a fancy restaurant when you can do that over a cup of cappuccino or macchiato?

Here’s the other thing; you’ll also be able to size up the other person by how he or she places said order. If your date’s choice of coffee includes too many instructions like half a spoon of sugar, one-quarter milk and a tablespoon of caramel, you’ll understand his or her life is full of similar instructions. This could be a yes or a no for you so think about it. Starting off with a coffee date also helps you control the pace of commitment. If your first date is going really well and your conversation is something you don’t want to end, order another cup of coffee – take it a step further and order something even better just to denote what a great time you’re having! Here’s another great liner – “all this coffee has made me a hungry; do you want to grab something to eat or go some-place else for a snack”? Easy peasy!

If your date isn’t going as well as you want it do, it’s alright, it’s just a cup of coffee. No harm done so you can leave it at that and get on with your life. Coffee really does make dating that simple.

Now that I’ve got you thinking… why not share some of your coffee-house romance experiences?

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